Cambodian wedding

We are just back from the wedding of Rithi, a teacher at Chey school, and his girlfriend of four years, which was huge fun! It was in a small village in the middle of padi fields. The ceremony took place in the bride's parent's house and the party under a colourful marquee, where most of the village and we three foreigners (Catherine, Lori and I) squeezed around a dozen tables and got rapidly drunk.
We learnt that in Khmer weddings the rice is for eating not throwing. Guests throw coconut flower seeds over the happy couple (and any foreigners) instead, and we ate the rice later with delicious beef, salad and cat fish. We didn't understand much of the ceremony, but it included a lot of chanting and seed throwing, and fantastic gong beating － I hope the video gives some idea.
The priest wet several pieces of red string and tied them around the couple's wrists, with a third being snapped and thrown out of the window to symbolise a clean slate. Gifts were offered, including a pig's head that we saw later on the back of the priest's bicycle, and silver boxes containing “special water” for the two mothers.
We sat on the floor without showing our feet – boy does that hurt if you're not used to it!
Afterwards, the groom and bride did their first of four clothes changes and the party went outside to the marquee.
We sat by the entrance with a good view of the receiving line where the other guests arrived wearing their best clothes and toothy grins. One gentleman sported a number of throat and face tattoos which Lori said marks him as an old Khmer soldier. I didn't like to ask more, as he looked fairly scary and Lori's friend Ponheary was with us, who had lost her father to the Khmer Rouge somewhere near this village.
Everyone seemed keen for us to drink beer, so I did my best to oblige. To help things along, a huge sound system blasted Cambodian pop into the tent at ear-splitting volume and our glasses were constantly topped up with ice, which dilutes things a bit and keeps the hangover away. The glasses were frequently emptied in one, so it didn't take long for the dancing to start. We were all dragged reluctantly to the dance floor and circled around it to Cambodian hip hop.
Yesterday someone explained to us that Khmer grooms pay for their weddings from guest donations, which are carefully and publicly recorded in a book that stays in the family's house for future reference. The system means favours can always be returned and doubles as a savings scheme; the groom pays for his wedding in installments every time he goes to someone else's. The head teacher from the VDPCA school said his wedding last year – a large one with 700 people- cost $1,500 but raised $5,000, a decent nest-egg when the average wage is $30 a month.
Today's wedding was smaller but still lavish: at least two traditional costumes for each of the eight-person bridal party and the whole village fed. From the way the party looked when we left, it's probably still going on now.
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